3 Adult Problems Children Shouldn’t Have to Worry About

April 3, 2016
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Sometimes adults forget that children with little ears pick up on everything you say, even if they don’t understand all the words you’re using. Adult problems are the business of adults– and not kids. Some parents believe that children should understand “reality” and while kids should be given a healthy understanding of how the world works, there are some burdens that do not belong on tiny shoulders. As a parent, it is up to you to keep your issues and adult worries from pervading into your child’s psyche. Simply put: it is not fair for kids to carry what they are not able to control or process.

#1 Money Issues

Yes, children should understand that money does not grow on trees and that it is important to select how you spend your money. Children should learn the value of a dollar and that hard work helps us earn special privileges and things we truly enjoy but do not necessarily need.

However: kids do not need to feel the anxiety and stress of a bad financial situation. They do not need excessive information. They do not need your fear or problems. As a parent, turn to friends and loved ones who are adults and can manage and help you through the process of financial devastation. Kids will sense and see the changes a financial issue will bring: loss of a home, loss of a parent’s job, etc.

But no matter what, do not pile your adult problems onto their little heads and hearts.

#2 Deadbeat Parents

No, your son doesn’t need to know if mom or dad is a deadbeat parent. Your kid will notice and learn simply by watching the other parent or “not seeing” the other parent that indeed, the parent is a deadbeat. You reminding your child of his or her crappy dad or mom only makes your child feel bad about him or herself. No matter what, your child will feel affection or love for this parent until perhaps he or she is older.  Let the other parent do the “work” of showing who he or she is. Not you with words.

Little shoulders don’t need adult problems like this!

#3 Divorce

Your kids don’t need to know daddy or mommy cheated, is bad to their mom or dad, absent or a drunk or any other myriad of issues that can factor into divorce.

Your children are not your counselors so do not give them information other than the basics in a developmentally appropriate manner and if you’re not sure what to say, consult with a play therapist, child psychologist, teacher or pediatrician.

Remember folks: children have the right to a childhood. They are not your friends or your confidantes. Let them deal with child-appropriate issues and leave the adult problems to you.

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