Dad Confronts Father-in-Law For Constantly Teasing His Daughter

December 6, 2017
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Have you noticed that when you become a parent yourself, your relationship with your own parents and your in-laws changes too?

I think it comes with that realization that you have to put your child’s best interest at hart and there might be times where those interests don’t align with what your mother would do, or your father-in-law, or any of your older relatives.

At times, it can be awkward as you try to balance your relationship with your parents and trying to find your own ways as parents now yourself.

There will be a few fights and disagreements, and you might find yourself rolling your eyes here and there at their advice or unnecessary comments.

For the most part, you know that your father-in-law, mother-in-law, your parents, or anyone else really does mean well and you can take what they say with a grain of salt.

Or if you all disagree with something, they understand that your role is the parent and won’t make a big deal about it.

Unfortunately this is not the case for every family and one dad recently took to Reddit to share his encounter with his father-in-law that was uncomfortable at the time — and his reaction to the whole thing didn’t make it easier.

A distraught dad took to Reddit to share the story of him confronting his father-in-law ad the escalation that followed.

A Dad made an anonymous throw away Reddit account — which is often done so you can ask a question without it being traced back to you — to share a story about a dinner gone wrong while out with his family.

He was seeking support to try and find out where or how it all went wrong.

He writes, “So this just happened a few hours ago at dinner with my in laws and wife, son (8) and daughter (4) on vacation.” Continuing, he says, “My FIL has a habit of teasing my kids in what he thinks is a good natured manner, but he doesn’t stop even when they get upset or tell him to stop.”He then goes on to tell what happened with his father-in-law:

“At dinner tonight, he kept calling my daughter by a different name, and she kept trying to correct him. He called her stuffed animal by a different name, and after multiple times of correcting him, with increasing volume, he didn’t stop. He tried to take her toy away several times. He introduced his hand as the tickle monster and my daughter said no. My daughter’s response to all this was an increasing state of agitation and telling him to stop. All the while, I felt anger at being stuck in the middle and not feeling like I could say anything because I know my FIL loves his grandkids and this is the main way he knows how to interact with kids. He can be very patient and loving. But if he can find something my kids dislike, he pushes it to the point of my kids being in tears. That’s not normal, right?”

 

But it didn’t end there…

The troubled Father then continued his story and the boiling point that brought him to seek the advice of Reddit.

Tonight, dinner dragged on and the teasing kept up. I tried to redirect my FIL, have my daughter switch seats to be away from him, and asked him to play a new game instead of the teasing,” he writes.

And then my heart breaks at the next paragraph:

 “My daughter, at this point, was telling me to tell my FIL that she wanted to “pinch him” and that he couldn’t come to her birthday party. Most of her interaction with him over the two hour dinner was just telling him “No!” and to stop.”

“He started up again to take her toy away and I finally had enough,” he writes. “I told him that he was antagonizing my daughter, that she had told him to stop and now, I was telling him to stop. This is the first time I said anything, and now my wife is upset at the situation, my MIL thinks we should no longer have dinner together on this vacation, and my kids think grandpa is mean.”

The Father continues his story and says that he apologized to his father-in-law saying that he was “sorry and didn’t want to say anything, but it’s hard for me to watch my daughter get increasingly upset at his actions that continue even after she says to stop.”

“I told him I don’t want her to resort to violence (the “I’m going to pinch him if he doesn’t stop” to make her point or to try to shun him. He barely responded to me.”

The Dad seems like a guy who really was just at the end of his rope and wanted to speak up for his daughter, and it sounds like it was a good thing, too. But he clearly still felt bad about it.

“I needed to say something because we tell our kids to try to solve the problem themselves and if they can’t, then ask for help. And I don’t want my daughter to think that this is how someone should treat her. That thought horrifies me,” he writes.

He then ends off the post saying:

“Sorry for the long rant. Advice from parents and grandparents who have been in this situation, on both sides, would be appreciated. I’m trying to understand why my FIL continues to tease my kids to the point of them being visibly upset. All he’s accomplishing is making them (and me) dislike him. Is he trying to toughen them up for the world? Teaching them that words aren’t as powerful as actions? That my daughter should hit him to get him to stop? That her words and feelings don’t matter? Is it a bit sadistic to take joy in watching your grandkids cry?”

Many comments rolled in offering support to the distraught dad with the mean father-in-law and it seems like most were on his side.

What do you think about this?

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