Viral: The Secret To Raising a Kind Daughter

October 23, 2017
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Experience By Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis that every Parents should know…

Viral: The Secret To Raising a Kind Daughter

When my daughter Ella was in fourth grade, she got in the car one day after school and announced her plan to run for student council.

At her school each class has a representative, and I was thrilled she planned to put her name in the hat. Even if she didn’t win, it would be a good experience.
She told me almost every girl in her class was running, as well as one or two boys. As kindly as possible, I mentioned the boys might have an advantage since the girl votes could be split, as that can happen in elections. I told Ella I was proud of her for putting herself out there, and that she’d make a great representative if elected.

The next day after school, Ella mentioned a dilemma she and her friend Annie had “figured out.” On Friday all candidates had to give a speech. Since our family was going to the beach Friday, Ella wouldn’t be there to give hers.

“But Annie had a great idea,” Ella said, referencing one of her best friends, who was in Ella’s class that year. “She suggested that I do a video speech, and she’ll play it for everyone.”
I was very touched by this suggestion from Annie. Why? Because Annie was running against Ella for student council. Yet instead of treating Ella like a competitor, she treated her like a friend.

Ella’s teacher agreed to the video speech, so we made it and sent it on. I didn’t think much more about the election until Friday afternoon around 3 p.m., when I was soaking up an ocean view of the Gulf Coast and received an email from Ella’s teacher. She had great news: Ella had won the election! Her classmates had voted her onto student council.
Our family hugged and congratulated Ella. I could tell by the shy smile on her face what her peers’ vote of confidence meant to her. About ten minutes later, my cell phone rang. It was Annie’s mom (one of my close friends) calling us from her cell.

“We are so thrilled about Ella!” she said, her voice joyful and triumphant. “It was the first thing Annie told me when she got in the car! She’s sooooo excited! We couldn’t be happier if it happened to her!”

The phone call didn’t surprise me, because that was typical for this family. What caught me off-guard was the timing of the call. These were 10-year-olds, after all, and 10-year-old emotions can be fragile. Their automatic instinct isn’t always happiness for a friend who got something they wanted, too. Had the tables been turned, I’m not sure the call would have happened so fast. We may have had to work through a little disappointment — if even for a minute — before focusing on our friend.

But to Annie and her mom, a victory for Annie’s best friend was a victory for Annie. A win for one was a win for both. If you ask me, that’s the perfect illustration of true friendship. It’s how it should work at every level.

All four of my girls have found friends similar to Annie. While no friendship is perfect, I’ve been surprised by some of the kindness I’ve seen at young ages. They know how to look out for a friend. They get it. And can I tell you what their kind friends all have in common? Kind mothers. Time and time again, I’ve become friends with the moms I meet through my children’s beloved friends because they’re good souls. I don’t think it’s a coincidence their children are, too.

We all want to raise kind daughters. We want them to be good friends and have good friends. While I give Annie full credit for supporting Ella — she suggested the video, after all, and was quick to celebrate her win — I know she didn’t pull that mindset out of thin air. She picked it up from her family because that’s how they think.
A win for a friend is a win for both.

Kindness among young girls doesn’t start on the playground or in the locker room — it starts at home. Most notably, it starts with kind mothers raising kind daughters. Our girls see how we treat our friends. They also notice how we treat their friends.

If we treat their friends as competitors, our daughters will, too. If we love their friends like we love our own children, they’re more likely to see them as sisters and part of the family.
Keep in mind it wasn’t just Annie cheering when Ella won student council. It was Annie’s mom, too. She was just as enthusiastic. Can I tell you what that meant to me? Can you imagine the trust that added to our relationship?

Quite honestly, I think it’s rare for both a mother and daughter to instinctively rejoice as these two did. Then again, maybe it just proves the point.
We moms rub off on our girls. Over time our way of thinking becomes their way of thinking. If we want to raise kind daughters, we need to start by being kind mothers.

Being a mother was never a simple task: it comes with lots of responsibilities…

3 Truths About C-Section Mothers That Everyone Should Know

Being a mother was never a simple task: it comes with lots of responsibilities, efforts, and great rewards. That is why we would like to encourage those great women who have undergone a Caesarean section for proudly wearing their “mark of happiness.”
C-section birth requires an immense amount of courage and strength, and only a true woman and mother can deal with it in such a heroic and admirable way. Here are 3 truths that only those women who have had a C-section know.

1. They bravely faced the consequences of surgical intervention
You may think that a Caesarean section, also known as a C-section, is a common procedure, but it’s also considered to be a major surgery. And, like other types of major surgeries, C-sections also carry many risks for both mother and child.

In addition, it is rather difficult for the future father or family members to be present in the operating room during the birth. They could be alone, without the possibility of receiving any support, and full of uncertainty.

There can be no better example of battle than that where fear and loneliness struggle internally against the strength, will, and unconditional love these women must endure just to receive that beautiful baby.

2. They didn’t know if everything was okay until they leave the operating room

In these cases, the risk did not end with the birth of the baby. As in every surgery, doctors couldn’t determine if everything has been successful until the anesthesia has worn off.

In addition, there is a detail that few people know. During a C-section the mother was conscious — she could not feel pain, but she could feel all the movement that occurs inside her. It is an unpleasant, invasive feeling, and, if you were not previously aware of it, it could be traumatic. Even so, they went through it with their heads held high because they know the reward is great.

3. They go through their post-cesarean recovery as true heroines

When a child is born, the world of a mother revolves around them and she complies to all of the demands without questions. This requires a predisposition and logistics which are often exhausting. Imagine doing all that withering in pain. Yes, with a lot of pain and discomfort that is an inevitable part of the recovery process following the surgery.

This makes them even stronger, crossing the pain threshold and developing an inner strength that is only compared to the strength of another mother.

No matter how hard it is, they would do it with a smile and with all the love in the world. Because every sleepless minute, every diaper they change, every smile and possibility to hold that little hand, to feel their breath, and that wonderful newborn baby smell justifies it. That exactly is the reason why they are in this world, to make that small extension of themselves happy.

We applaud each and every one of these mothers who are marked with a scar that allows them to never forget what they are made of. So, dear mothers, carry that beautiful mark with pride. No need to hide it or disguise it, because not every woman has that privilege.

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